Death

"I have lost the will to live, the problem is it keeps coming back when I get hungry" --Matt Bray

Once upon a time at swim practice, where so many of my quotes are born, we did a really difficult workout. After it was all over I probably tried to pull myself out of the pool and laid on the deck. Thoroughly exhausted I didn't want to move. That's when the quote came. You see I did feel like dying, because it probably felt better. Losing the will to live tends to be a frequent occurrence after swim/polo practice. But every time, without fail, it comes back. Often it comes back because I get hungry. I realize that I'm hungry and that is even worse than all the pain I'm going through, I'd suddenly want to live again so that I could eat. At least I think that's something like what I meant when I said the quote, I don't really remember exactly what I did mean.

I've felt like this the last few days. Tuesday was the first day of polo practice and my coach's new favorite workout/punishment is lunges. Lunges are very painful in large amounts like my coach makes us do. He makes us go around the pool, 150+ yards of misery. Let me describe how this feels for those of you who have never had this experience. We start off at one corner and go around. The first 25 yards are alright. After that it all goes downhill. By 50 yards the legs start to burn and don't want to bend any more. By 75 they are burning so bad it feels like it is impossible to continue, but you have to. By 100 yards your legs start to shut down and feel like fire. Then you have to go 50 more. When all 150 yards are finished you stand up and your thighs feel like dull, metal knives that have been held in a fire for about ten minutes are stabbing your legs all over and it is almost impossible to walk because if you move your legs at all it only makes it worse. So now sitting down sounds like a great idea and you do. You sit down and in order to do so you have to bend your legs again it makes it hurt worse, then you sit down and the thigh muscles seize up and feel like they are pulling your knees into your hips all the while still feeling like those heated knives are stabbing you. This description does not even do it justice. Then to make it even better, every time you try to stand up or sit down for the next 3 days you make grandpa noises and/or whimper because it hurts so bad. To cap it all off you have to waddle around because of the pain.

Scars

“Rule number 1: don’t spray your coach with his own water bottles; bad things happen.” --The Chard and Matt Bray

This last weekend was state swim. It was way fun and our team did pretty good. It reminded me of this quote that occurred at state polo last year. Richard and I were sitting on a bench watching the championship game. Kirt, our coach was standing in front of us off to the side and Richard was babysitting Kirt's water bottle. Why? I don't know. It was a weird bottle, it was more of a bag with a cap like a regular water bottle.

Just as a side note, Richard was playing with the bag that you put inside the bucket for ice at the hotel earlier that day. The ice had all melted so he had a bag of water. He managed to spill it all over the room and get some of our stuff wet. He did the same thing again in our same room, in the same day. So you can see how this is going to go.

He discovered that you could spray the water pretty far from this water bottle/bag. He filled it up several times and took great delight in spraying across the deck. Being Richard he got the brilliant idea to spray Kirt, and being Richard, he followed through with this plan. Kirt turned around ran toward Richard. Richard looked for an escape route, but there was none. Over me was his best option, he clawed me frantically trying to get away but his plan failed. Kirt got a hold of him and showed him who's boss. I discovered my arms had been cut up from Richard trying to escape. I still have scars on my right arm to this day. The quote is self explanatory here.

But Richard is not the only person to leave a scar on my right arm from a polo experience. Our good friend Carri left a nice little scar on my forearm one day too. We were at practice one day and scrimmaging. I was guarding Carri and she happened to have the ball. I had my arm up to block, but I thought I could hit the ball out of her hand. Somehow her head appeared where I originally thought the ball was. I managed to knock out one of her brackets from her braces and received a scar from the impact. I really enjoy teasing her about that one.

Complications

"If you didn't worry about what other people think when you talk, life would be so much more simple." --Martin Bradwards

This quote came along on a Monday. How do I know this? It was referring to Saturday and Matt was not there, thus making it a Monday.

The Friday before was region swim. As you may remember from this post, we had a lot of fun laughing. It was one of the greatest days ever.

The next day I went on a date. I did not (and still don't really) know the kid very well. His name is Joseph Potter and he is really funny. I had no idea what to talk to him about or anything. So I recounted my night with Matt and Richard. I mean, when you laugh so hard and spend so much time with two people, everything reminds you of them.

Long story short, I felt a little guilty for bringing up Matt and Richard while I was on this date.

On Monday, I informed Richard that he complicates my life by being so funny. Then the quote was born.

And it is true in everything.

Problems

"The problem is we can't find the solution." --Matthew James

This quote came about in a conversation that Matt and I had the other night. We dig deep into the details today. The point is that we were trying to find the solution to the problem but couldn't find it.

Isn't that always the problem?

"As much as I want to sit here and complain about how bad I feel, I look into your faces and you look like crap."

Today in Madrigals, Mrs. Tawa wasn't feeling very well. Since we are a family, she feels like she can complain to us. She stood in front of us, instructing us in the ways of sweaters. She then said the quote and we laughed. And laughed.

I wrote it on the board.

Cookie

"That's great. Do you want a cookie?" --Jeremy

I know it has taken a while for this story, but I promise that it was worth the wait.

The other day we were eating lunch. Big shocker there, right? Our friend Marci came over and chatted with us. She plays Water Polo, but last year she broke her collar bone and couldn't play for the season. Now she can lift her arms enough to play efficiently.

She was showing Katie that she would be able to block people. Jeremy, this kid who we love very much, said the quote. Just blurted it.

It's even more funny when you can hear Jeremy's voice. We laughed, hard. So hard that I had to hide my face on Matt's shoulder.

Laughter

"I think I just swallowed my nose." --The Chard

Thursday and Friday this week were the region swim meet. Thursday went rather poorly for both Richard and I to say the least. But to make up for everything Friday went pretty well. Our relay took first in our region, earning both of us our first gold medals which was really exciting. To celebrate we watched Bill Cosby again. Richard was being Richard to the max after our races. I can think of only two times in my life I have ever laughed as hard as I did Friday night. It was really entertaining.


I spent most of the night looking at this face. Needless to say I have never had a better ab workout, it lasted about 4 hours. I can't look at this picture without laughing my head off, typing this post is really difficult. The quote finally came in between laughs. Fortunately he still has his nose, so what he meant, no one knows....... but it was funny.

"If I could be like this all the time, I would make spirits light and hearts heavy with laughter." --The Chard

Seeping

"Adversity is like a strong wind. I don't mean just that it holds us back from places we might otherwise go. It also tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that afterward we see ourselves as we really are, and not merely as we might like to be." -Arthur Golden

Yesterday was an interesting day in my house. We have a turtle tank and it flooded, seeping through the walls and ceiling in the basement, ruining carpet upstairs. It was quite interesting.

Heather described the room as a pond. My mom left work to help Heather clean up the yucky turtle water. Once it was all gone from John's room and they showered, I discovered a bubble in my ceiling. Yeah... not the greatest thing. And then it went downhill from there. The water had seeped down through the walls in the basement, the carpet was wet in three rooms, just not our idea of a "good time." (Any Bill Cosby fans out there?)

Anyhow, my mom and Heather stayed super, cleaning and pondering what to do. My dad called a guy and he came with fans to start drying the walls, floors, and ceiling. It was decided that everyone, but my dad, would have to go somewhere else to sleep because of the noisy fans. I called my friend Jill and stayed the night at her house.

As I was thinking about the whole fiasco during seminary, I came up with a good analogy. The turtle tank flooding is the world, pouring nasty water on to us. We are the walls; we soak up the world and it causes problems. Heavenly Father is the fan (well, there are six fans) that came help us heal.

When the world pours its water onto you and the winds push against you, remember that "these things shall give thee experience." (D&C122:7)

Breathing

"Over-breathing may feel good but it's bad for you. Under-breathing may feel bad but it is good for you... like drugs!" --Martin Bradwards

Once upon a time this quote somehow came to exist. How? We don't really remember. It was too long ago (one whole day).

It probably had something to do with Richard and his bags, once again. This tends to be a daily occurrence in our lunch time.

But now it stinks because someone has class during lunch Monday, Wednesday, AND Friday. Yeah. You read that right.

So, if quotes are lacking, check back on a Tuesday or Thursday. Or on a weekend. Or everyday just to be surprised.

Flow

"You cannot push a river; let it flow on its own." --Doris Murphy

I just had the wonderful opportunity to visit one of my neighbors. Her name is Doris; she is 92 years old with arthritis and other things that make her weak physically. She is a wise, grateful woman of virtue. Sharing her company is one of the greatest blessings because her happiness takes you over.

Dorris heard this quote from her grandson and his wife. They travel the world together. While they were in China, they sent a card, or something of that sort, to Dorris that had the quote written on it. We discussed the importance of taking time to enjoy little things, letting life run on its own.

I know that I often try to push my life in the direction I want it to go. One day I will be better at letting things just happen, letting the river flow by itself.

Famous

"Everything in life is easy, it's just difficult to be good at it." - Martin Bradwards

This is the first Martin Bradwards quote of them all. This is the original, the one that started them all, the first inspiration for writing down quotes in the first place, the reason this blog eventually came to exist.

You see this quote will eventually become famous, just because it is so awesome.

Just as a side story: When this whole quote thing was fairly new Richard typed up a few quotes that we had, including this one and gave it to one of our seminary teachers to put on their daily quote things. Later that day, I was talking to my younger brother who happened to have that same seminary teacher. He told me "I heard a good quote today". "Oh, Really?" I asked, "what was it?". And to my amazement he quoted this quote back to me, not realizing that I was present when that quote first came to be.

This quote can apply to just about everything in life. I believe it probably started during a conversation about swimming, but it has been refined to apply everywhere. For example, I can play guitar, that is easy. Sure I can strum the strings, I couldn't play a song, I probably couldn't even make it sound good. But if I wanted to be good at it then I would have to spend a lot of time learning how to really play the guitar. But I could play the guitar.

Heaven

"Heaven is school without grades." --John Grafelman

Today during our Sunday dinner, we were discussing the end of the semester. My little brother doesn't enjoy school very much, like most children his age. Unfortunately, he doesn't earn the best grades in the world. However, he does love science and the universe. He was talking about wanting to make planets in heaven. Then the quote was made, but not like the "big bang."

Swimmers

"We swim because we are too good looking for a sport that requires clothes." - Unknown

I rather like this quote. I saw it on the internet once. We had a swim meet this weekend down in Saint George and it reminded me of this quote. You see this week was very difficult at practice and it paid off because this morning my abs looked awesome, probably the best they have ever been........... I'm such a guy.

"Failure is never final and success is never ending. Success is a journey, not a destination."
--Ben Sweetland

I receive e-mails everyday that have the quote of the day. This is the inspirational quote for today.

Pondering the quote, I thought of two things. The first is our school's best choir, Madrigals. Yesterday was awful. It could be considered a failure day in class. Luckily, that is not how the class is everyday. Despite the tension and frustration, we always sound really good. Our blend is amazing, and every individual voice is amazing. It is our journey to become a functional family.

Matt is an amazing swimmer. He loves it, if you couldn't tell by this quote. When he doesn't swim his very best, he tends to be frustrated. Sometimes I am sure that he feels like a failure. Even when he doesn't swim his best it is really fast. His constant journey to success will pay off soon.

I hope that your journey is a successful one.

Successfulness

"If you want to be successful in life............. don't be a fat man that wears shorts." --The Chard

I would love to give some background for how this quote came to be, but there is none. Richard, being Richard, kindly let us know how to not be successful in life out of the blue, that's all.

Hey Baby

"I'm a full grown man." --Matthew B.

Tonight there was another basketball game, which we won again. During the games the band always plays a song called "Hey Baby". Michelle and I rather like this song. For those of you who do not know the words, it goes like this "Hey, Hey baby, I wanna know, will you be my girl?". Well Michelle likes to alter the words to the song changing "girl" to "man" since it makes more sense that way when she sings it. Then to make it complete she likes to scream the word "man" really loud at me, or whoever she happens to be with of the male gender. Eventually I picked up the hint and shout "girl" really loud back.(Just as a side note: on one of them she messed up and asked me to be her girl..... I declined.)

Anyway, the band was about to play the song, or so we thought, and Michelle halfway started to sing. The band stopped playing as she said the words "Hey Baby". For a moment I thought she was just saying this to me. So I kindly informed her that I am not an infant.

Determination

"Determination has nothing to do with talent; a lot of determination can become talent." --Martin Bradwards

This was one of the days where we heard one of the girls at our tables low self-esteem come through. It's sad really. Anyway, she was talking about how she wasn't talented and she had to determination to do anything. Truly sad.

Matt, Richard, and I were sitting at the table listening to this conversation. Richard sat deep in thought. Eventually Martin Bradwards made another quote.

Ziploc Bags

"The next time I get a good idea, I hope someone convinces me otherwise" - Matt Bray

Richard rather likes to play with certain items you might find in a high school lunch setting, including plastic knives, straws, water bottles, and ziploc bags. These all have good stories of their own but for now this is all about ziploc bags. When Richard gets hold of some of these bags often our table ends up laughing really hard for several minutes straight, it's really entertaining. But I will just let the video speak for itself.

Oh, and if you were wondering about the quote, those were my ziploc bags. That's not really where the quote came from(that's a whole other story), but it works.

The quote actually came during swim practice, as so many of mine do. One day I just so happened to be in the mood to work hard, which happens once every so often. I was really fired up and determined to practice hard so that I could be faster. This day just so happened to be before the swim season, so we did not have a coach with us and we had to make up our own work outs. Being the brilliant person I am I suggested a really hard set nicknamed as "The Puke Set." Being named so because it was the only set ever to make one of our swimming friends puke. When my teammates grudgingly agreed we began. I started off enthusiastically but a little way into the set realized what a stupid idea it really was. Nevertheless we finished the set. My enthusiasm was completely drained and this quote came along.

"Richard, there are some certain girls sitting behind you that would either like you to pull down your shirt or pull up your pants." --Michelle Lorena


Today during lunch, we were being crazy, which is normal. I had asked Richard if he had kept a comic that I gave him for Christmas. He didn't. So I yelled his name and shunned him.

While this conversation was going on, some of our friends were sitting on a bench behind us looking at our backsides. They noticed that Richard's underwear was showing and it was bothering them. When I yelled "Richard!" they laughed because it was perfect timing in their conversation.

I then went back to the table. And the quote came.

See-through

"See-through is my favorite color." --The Chard

We were just sitting at a girls basketball game (which we won, by the way) when Richard said this... deep... quote.

See, he has this thing for water bottles. He likes to saw away at them, chew on them, drink out of them, you name it! Since he was playing the trumpet at the game, he was thirsty, therefore drinking out of it. The water bottles name is Rachel.

We told this kid standing next to us if he had seen Rachel. He responded that he didn't know Rachel and had a hard time putting faces with names. We then told him that Rachel is a water bottle.

After some looking around for Rachel and finding her, we informed everyone that Richard was going to marry Rachel. He giggled and said his colors were going to be aqua. Michelle wants to be a wedding planner when she grows up, so she thought this rather funny. She added that the color "see-through" should also be in the color scheme. Then came the quote.

"You hide dead people in your pantry?!" --Matthew James

So one day at lunch for some reason we were talking about cremation. Why? I don't remember. But that is beside the point. One of our friends made a remark about there being ashes in her pantry, which I only half heard. So I was confused and this quote was born.

The purpose of this blog is to share all the wonderful quotes that are said during my lunchtime. Actually, just anytime. You may possibly hear the background stories of the quotes along with the quote. Most of them will be from Martin Bradwards. One day he will be famous.

This blog is a team effort. I, Michelle Lorena, will be doing the majority of the posting. Matthew James will be the second contributor (he happens to be with Martin Bradwards quite frequently). If you are worried about being confused about who is writing, have no fear, the author will always be clear!

I hope that you find yourself entertained and maybe uplifted!

"There are only two things that are infinite: the universe and human stupidity, but I am not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein and the Chard

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